Lessons That Can Come Back to Bite You!

Anyone who knows Ben knows that he is a smart little guy. He learns things SO quickly. Which, typically, is a huge blessing to me and is something that I love. However, I have learned that a few lessons can come back to bite...

Lesson # 1: It is not good to litter.
Ooops: Now, every time that we go on a walk, which is every day at least once, Ben is obsessed with seeing trash and wanting to pick it up. He will yell, "Oh, Mama, there is some trash over there...somebody must have forgotten to throw it away! Let's go get it and help them throw it away!" Its not like I don't want him to be a good steward of the earth, its just that I am getting tired of having him filthy from other people's trash. Then I have to spend the rest of the walk trying to find a trash can, and trying to make sure that he keeps his hands out of his mouth!!

Lesson # 2: Nature is fascinating.
Ooops: Sure, a pretty flower or tall tree here or there are wonderful to look at, but a dead bird with gnats crawling in its eye sockets...not so great. Revolting, in fact. However, I have spent so much time encouraging Ben to stop and take time to check out the world outside that he was ENTHRALLED with the dead bird. "Is that bird sleeping, Mom?" Ben asked. "Yep, buddy, it sure is. Look at the nice bugs who are visiting him, that's so nice!" I replied.

Lesson # 3: It is good to poop in the toilet.
Ooops: Now, every time that Ben poops on the toilet, which occurs at least once every day, he is so proud that he insists on showing it to everyone in the house. I can not tell you how many times I have looked at poop in the toilet that was not my own in the past 3 weeks. And, though I am proud of him for being so excellent at using the toilet, I have definitely had my fill of the post-poop "show and tell!" Oh, and its not just me, anyone else at the house during a trip to the bathroom is also invited to the "show and tell". What fun!!

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My Little AP Baby

Quick story about tonight...tried to go out to dinner with some friends, but Aaron had to call me to come home after an hour and a half.

It's sort of strange to be mothering Molly right now. I have lots of friends who separate from their babies all the time. The babies never seem to have trouble with it, and the mamas have no trouble leaving them. But this is not the case for Molly and me. And I accept it fully.

I have chosen to "AP" Molly and Ben. For the unfamiliar, AP means Attachment Parenting. It is a form of parenting that, in general, supports keeping moms and babies as close together as is comfortable for both. If anyone is ever interested, I would be happy to share my reasons for deciding that this is the way I would like to parent my children. But, suffice it to say, I am happy with this choice, and think that it is right for me and my children. The problem is that Molly is...well...attached to me. So, when she wouldn't go to bed for Aaron tonight, and I had to come home to put her down, I can't really find any frustration with her, because I have actively taught her to rely on me to meet her needs and to expect that I will be there for her. She is doing exactly what I have helped her learn to do.

Now that she is 4 months( I am laughing as I am typing this, because, really, in the grand scheme of things, that is really still SO young) I do think that we need to work on her relationship with Daddy, because, though I don't need to be out all the time, I do need to feel like she and Daddy have a good relationship (he needs this too) and I need to know that I can go out for dinner here and there.

So, starting tomorrow, Aaron and I are going to put her down together from now on. Molly has been so attached to me, and SUCH an easy baby for me, that we have just fallen into a pattern where I put her down and take care of the vast majority of her needs. With Ben, we shared so much of the parenting, and so I think we just need to get back to a little more shared parenting.

Hopefully this will bring a new, and more bonded, phase for Molly and Aaron. But I do have to admit that I LOVE how attached Molly has become to me. With Ben, I never knew if I was really meeting his needs, but with Molly, it is so great to know that I can meet all of her needs to effortlessly! It's truly amazing!

Bragging Mama...

Hate to be so annoying as to point it out, but my kids are stunningly beautiful. Take a look at these pics!

A Couple of Things...

-Ben is potty-trained!!! He started last Tuesday, and has just done great! Just one or two accidents, and he's got it! I can't believe that I don't have to wipe 2 rear-ends anymore! Woo hoo!!!

-Molly has found her feet! It is so sweet. I was in a yoga "Mommy and Baby" class this week, and the instructor had us lay on our backs and grab our feet...she called it "Happy Baby Pose". I thought to myself, "Babies don't do this, do they?" Then, that very day, Molly found her feet, grabbed on, and perfectly demonstrated "Happy Baby Pose!"

-Molly is laughing! Not all the time, and it's not a long, drawn out belly laugh, but she is definitely laughing...it's one of the sweetest sounds on earth!

-Things are going pretty well now. Sleep is, of course, our only frustration:) Ben is waking up WAY too early (like 5:30 this morning), and Molly is staying up way too late (like 10:30 last night). If you do the math, you can see that we can't even get 8 hours in even if we tried. Things will be better soon...Molly is transitioning to an earlier bedtime, but she is just not quite there yet. We'll see how the next few weeks go. **If only Ben would sleep in!! Of course, I will be cursing him for sleeping in when he is a teenage, I'm sure.

Yes...I'm still alive...

So sorry for the terribly long haitus. It turns out that I am not good at finding time to blog with a newborn in the house. Who would have guessed? ;)

I am still going to post the rest of the birth story at some point, but I figured I should get back in the habit of posting about our daily lives before I loose the skill completely.

Just a couple of thoughts:
-Ben is a GREAT singer! I just got the best video of him singing, "Blackbird singing in the dead of night". Aunt Gretchen taught him this song, and he knows the whole chorus. It's hysterical to hear a 2-year-old singing: Blackbird singing in the dead of night...take these broken wings and learn to fly...all your life, you've been waiting for this moment to arrive. (Or something like that, he knows all the words, but I don't!)
-Molly is starting to feel more like a baby every day. For a while there, she just felt like a warm, peaceful little extension of me. But as each week passes, I can feel her separating her identity from mine bit by bit. Case in point...she is sleeping in her bed in the other room, rather than in my arms! Good girl!
-I am so proud of Aaron. He has been having a hard time feeling bonded to Molly. But instead of just letting himself stay frustrated, he has focused his energy on taking any possible opportunity to hold her and have fun times with her. And, though it has only been a few days, she is already responding to him so well, and has been giving him the most wonderful smiles!

One last thought: though there have been some hard times these past 3 months, I would say that our lives are actually going VERY well right now, and it is such a blessing to just feel happy. Nothing is perfect, but we are all happy, and we are all in love with each other...does life get any better than this?!!
Oh, and also, Ben pooped on the potty today!!! That's partly why I am so happy...I just had to help him with one clean up wipe, rather than scrape poop that has been smushed to the fullest capacity of a diaper off the butt of a toddler!! It's a great day!!

Birth Story - Part 1 - Through the Valley of Darkness

After a LONG delay, I'm finally back (at least a little bit!) I have discovered that it is quite difficult to find time for blogging now that I have two kids...who knew?!! I hope to get back in the habit of posting regularly soon, but I have currently been using my tiny bits of free time to finish writing Molly's birth story. However, as you will soon see, because I have been writing it in little bursts, it has become something of a mini-novel. So instead of trying to post the whole story in one gigantic post, I have broken the story into 3 main parts.

Here, finally, on the eve of Molly's 2-month birthday, is part 1.
(I will add pics to this story as soon as blogspot gets their stuff working again...argh!!)


GETTING CLOSER…ALMOST TIME!

This story really begins several weeks before Molly was born. Here is a summary of the thoughts/feelings/emotions and events that led up to the birth of Molly Ruth Schiltz.

Aaron, Ben and I spent the month of January enjoying our time together without a newborn in the house. We got everything ready for the baby to come, and talked a lot with Ben about what his new little sister would be like and what she would need every day (lots of sleep, cuddles, and milk!).

We also did our traditional belly painting. It was great doing it before Ben was born, but even more fun doing it this time for Molly, because her big brother LOVED this little “welcome baby” ritual of ours.

I was pretty tired by the end (more than with Ben) but tried to continue exercising, eating well, and practicing my “hypnobabies” homework as preparation for another natural labor.

Finally, February arrived, and we started to gear up for her arrival. Let me share a bit about where I was mentally with the impending delivery. I had always heard that second-born children are typically born earlier than first-born children, and that girls often are born earlier than boys. So because this was my second baby, and I knew she was a girl, I began to think that she would arrive on or before February 7th, the day that I would be 39 weeks along, and the same day of pregnancy on which Ben was born. So as we got closer and closer to the 7th, even though my due date wasn’t until Feb. 14th, I began to pay attention for signs of labor coming.

At my doctor’s visit the week of the 7th, my doctor checked me and said that I was already 4 cm. dilated and 75% effaced, and that it looked like labor would start at any time. The baby hadn’t “dropped” low into my pelvis yet, but other than that, all signs were looking like labor was close.

So when Feb. 7th came and went, I have to admit that it was a particularly hard day for me. Even the happiest pregnant lady is getting uncomfortable by 39 weeks along, and I knew that the baby was technically “ready”, so it was hard to think that the baby was definitely not coming earlier than Ben, and that, now that my mental due date had passed, there was no telling how much longer I could be pregnant!

After whining and complaining all day on the 7th, I woke up on the 8th with a fresh outlook and a resignation to welcome the baby on whatever day she chose to be her birthday, rather than to wish for an end to my wonderful pregnancy with her, and an end to my last days with just Ben. (My apologies to anyone who was around me on that day!!)

This turned out to be a VERY good thing. Out of the blue, Ben woke up on Friday, Feb. 8th with a fever and flu-like symptoms. He was sick until Sunday, and I was so thankful every day that I didn’t also have a newborn to take care of, when little Ben was so sick and needy. I figured the baby knew what she was doing and didn’t want to come when Ben was sick, but that now that he was healthy, she would come any time. And, in fact, all day that Saturday I had LOTS of early contractions and felt that we might be within about 48 hours of labor.

Then, the world turned temporarily upside-down. I woke up on Monday, Feb. 11 with full-body aches and chills, a fever, a cough, and, in general, feeling more sick than I have felt in my entire life. I thought it was the flu, but it turned out to be some other unspecified virus that was going around. I was so unbelievably sick! I was essentially bed-ridden for the first 4 days. On the 5th day, I went in for my weekly OB appt. and my doctor couldn’t believe how sick I still was after 5 full days. She ordered me to stay in bed and rest as much as possible over the weekend to try to fight it off.

Thankfully Aaron took her seriously, and I pretty much just slept and rested all day Saturday and Sunday. By Monday, I was mostly healthy, and by Tuesday, I could officially say that I was now just needing to recover my strength, but that I wasn’t really sick anymore.

It was the strangest experience. I essentially just lost a week out of my life. My due date passed without me even noticing, and each night I would pray that I didn’t go into labor, because I knew I didn’t have the strength for a natural delivery, which is so important to me, much less the strength to care for a newborn. Then, on Tuesday, Feb 19th, I began to pray that labor would at least hold off until Thursday, the 21st. I would hit 41 weeks that day, and I felt that if I could make it a few more days, I might have the strength I needed for delivery.

Interestingly, though I was (and had been for 2 weeks) 4 cm. dilated and so “ready” physically to go into labor, my contractions almost completely stopped when I was the sickest. I didn’t have any for days, and then they only gradually started to come back as my strength returned. It was amazing to think that my body knew to turn off all labor prep and focus on healing. My doctor said that it was particularly amazing because usually strong illnesses at the end of pregnancies cause women to go into labor, rather than have labor stall.

So, amazingly, we finally made it through the waiting, Ben's illness, and my illness. I made it to 41 weeks (and was so happy to still be pregnant...pretty uncommon for a woman who is THAT pregnant!) I said many prayers of thanksgiving for both the return to health, and the strength for the now definitely impending delivery. And I said many thanks to baby Molly for being patient and waiting to come out until I could be healthy.

Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3 of Molly's birth story!